Sunday, March 8, 2009

Who Watches the Director of Watchmen?

An open letter to Zack Snyder:

Dear Mr. Snyder,

Thank you for doing an overall great job with Watchmen. The movie nearly felt as epic as the graphic novel, and the overall themes of human nature, paranoia of a Cold War nuclear holocaust, and the insane psychology of vigilantism remained markedly faithful to Alan Moore's book.

Also, thanks for almost ruining the whole fucking movie with, quite possibly, the absolute worst choice for music accompanying a sex scene that has ever been made. Sure, forcing in Hendrix's All Along the Watchtower with a shoehorn during the Antarctic crash can be forgiven. Even closing it out with a My Chemical Romance cover of anything can be overlooked. But Hallelujah? Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah? Really? Whatever the hell it was that you guys were smoking during post-production, I want some.

Seriously, what the hell was that about? What, you couldn't get the rights to The Final Countdown by Europe for your sex scene? You couldn't get Whip It by Devo? Jesus, if you wanted to keep the 80's theme and make it hilarious to the point of being unwatchable, you could have just gone with I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner. Why didn't you just go with Is This Love by Whitesnake? How could Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen have possibly made any sense to you for that scene? I think I'd rather watch people having sex to Eye of the Tiger, for fuck's sake. Could you have chosen a song that was less appropriate? What is wrong with you?

Sincerely,

James W. Rockwell


P.S. - Berlin? Take My Breath Away? Funnier, and would have been more fitting.

P.P.S. - (sigh)...Leonard Cohen? What the hell?

P.P.P.S. - 

...

I can't believe that this still bothers me.